Kirby's Fremont

A Valentine Bah-Humbug

By Kirby Lindsay

Jack, Sally, Kelly and Kim at the Valentine's Bah-Humbug Party.

I am a sucker for a love story but I find Valentine's Day a drag. Navigating masses of flowers at the grocery store and ignoring sale specials screaming "Champagne Dinner for Two" can be aggravating. Especially when you're single. The best antidote is Kelly's widely acclaimed "Bah-Humbug Valentine's Party" on Valentine's Eve. Besides being a fun gathering, it is also an opportunity to meet people in the same boat.

This year 90 single people stepped into the spacious, laid-back atmosphere of The Ballroom, the new pool hall in Fremont. Owned by James Wyman, it promises to be as successful and popular as his other establishment, the Triangle Tavern. Playing pool gave people a chance to talk and mingle, or stand and watch. This is Kelly's 10th party and she has learned. Early on this "moveable feast" was held in a hall at Camp Long where "everyone stood around staring at each other like a junior high school dance." Now Kelly selects an activity that will break the ice.

Is it pathetic to attend a party where everyone is single? I don't think so but some attendees disagreed. "Being single isn't a disease," one woman told me after she asked not to be identified. Kelly began this tradition when she was single. "People say it is so hard to meet people," she explained, so she held a party. Now it is an institution. "This is a community service for my friends." Sally, one party-goer, eloquently pointed out, "I've gotten to be best friends with my television." We talked about Sally's past experiences with the Personals and the Internet and some of the men she has met. For meeting purposes, "Bah-Humbug" attendees are "to a degree recommended. All are inherently nice," Kelly assured me. After all, they are all her friends, or friends of friends. "Dating shouldn't be a big ordeal," Kelly says. "Everything is so heavily laden. I think books like The Rules have done damage to women. The older you get the more set in your ruts you get. You have to meet new people and make new friends."

"I am hoping people will hook-up," she explained. She doesn't limit the party guest list to her taste, inviting people of all ages, all sizes, all backgrounds. Everyone attends, sometimes as many as 200 people, from members of the Fremont Arts Council to Moral Majority Christians. Often the only common denominator among attendees, between an accountant, a public relations consultant and a glass artist, is Kelly. She is often surprised at who is attracted to whom. "I always think I'm such a good study of human nature. Yet I'm so wrong all the time." For several days, after the party, Kelly is matchmaking - by phone, e-mail and letters. When friends call after the party, asking her for more details about someone met, she always answers honestly - the mostly good, the little bad.

Kelly counts on her friends for the same service. A few years back, at a party, she briefly met a man we'll call "Jake" to whom she was completely attracted. The next day she sought out an honest friend that knew Jake. The friend said, "He bad man!" and Kelly took it as a joke. After all, this friend was dressed as a Buffoon and entertaining the children at Fremont's Oktoberfest. Kelly went to another friend who said he thought Jake was okay and "not the Nazi everyone thinks he is." It was when a third friend cautiously said accusations that Jake was a child molester were "highly exaggerated" that Kelly looked elsewhere.

Kelly is single now, and looking. I don't worry about Kelly meeting people. She makes friends everywhere. Recently a camera crew from the Travel Channel spent a week filming a segment about her involvement in the Art Car movement, to be televised on March 26th and April 1st. Since filming ended, many crew members have kept in touch through letters and e-mail - and Kelly has been invited many times to come see them at home, in Australia.

Kirby Lindsay, a widow, lives, plays pool and parties in Fremont. If you have questions about the area, you may write her c/o The Seattle Press or e-mail to fremont@oz.net.

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