Who Needs on World Class Fish Tanks When a Good Old Bowl of Chowder Will Do?

By Dick Falkenbury

When I am in charge, any city employee using the phrase "world class" will be fired immediately. They will be escorted out of the building, their desk burnt where it stands and their names will be forever forbidden to be spoken. They will be given noogies, delivered by a Black and Decker palm sander. I'm serious.

Let's get one thing straight: "world class" means:

--the biggest;

--the most expensive;

--the most out of touch with the humans that might use it.

We all know that the "world class" aquarium will be the biggest, most expensive and overwhelming fish tank that the city can come up with.

The baseball stadium is the most expensive in the country, but talk to the humans that use it: they can't get a hot dog in under thirty minutes, stay warm or use it for any other purpose the other 300 days of the year.

When the "world class" city hall gets built, any bets that it will contain any office that you actually need to get to? Hint: what was the first thing they cut when they ran into budget problems? Child care. (It's those damn kids again--get rid of them!)

What we need is a new phrase and the idea behind it: "Seattle class." What is "Seattle class"?

"Seattle class" means building for the people that the facility is going to serve, first and last.

It means using the funds that we have and building the size that fits.

We used to have "Seattle class" and the world copied us. "World class" looks at what others have done, and copies that.

We had "Seattle class" when we took the old Farmers' Market and fixed it up instead of tearing it down. Now, the rest of the world comes here and tries to copy the Pike Place Market. (They fail, of course; you can't copy heart.)

We built the Space Needle. The World's Fair organizers had come to the designer and told him that they had seen a tall tower in Germany. They wanted one like it, only taller: a thousand feet tall. The architect thought that a thousand feet sounded too tall. He rented a helicopter. He went up and took pictures. After 600 feet, the view gets no better. We now have a 605-foot Space Needle that may not be bigger than any other in the world, but has real grace and saved the builder $4 million.

In the '70s, the "experts" told us to tear down Pioneer Square. It had to go. Someone said "Wait a minute!" You may not love the Square now, but I'll guarantee that you would hate the "world class" renovation that they had in mind.

The jerks that want to bring "world class " to Seattle don't remember when, instead of copying the mistakes of the rest, we led the world in how to do things for a city. And its people.

We used to be "Seattle class;" we can be again. Build with what you have, with the uses of the people at the forefront instead of as an afterthought.

And if you want to stop the Grand World Class Stupendous Magnificent Resplendent City Hall from being built, pass a law that it cannot be named "Paul Schell Hall." He'll lose all interest in it.

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