Seattle Press on Line - Small Ideas for Seattle

Small Ideas for Seattle

By Dick Falkenbury

Sep 06, 2000 -- This is a column of items that is short and punchy--like the woman I went out with last week:

Take down those ugly electrical high power wires on the west side of the I-5 Canal Bridge. Remove the towers on the shore and attach the wire directly to the side of the bridge.

This would clear up the view, maybe save one seaplane accident per century and open up a little of the shore for the public.

* * *

Stop public school closures. OK--so that's going too far. Let's make a law: no school can be closed as long as there is one administrator left in the Seattle Public Schools' Headquarters.

* * *

Falkenbury's definition of a good bureaucrat: Given the choice between another meeting and good sex, they'll take the meeting.

* * *

Let's light up the Burke-Gilman Bike Trail (and all other trails) with footlights.

When I proposed this idea, a friend of mine said that it was too much--too expensive. "But don't we light up all of the streets all of the time? It's nothing more than we do for cars."

* * *

Speaking of which: Drive under the Convention Center down I-5--day or night, good weather or bad. Now, drive under the Mercer Island I-90 lid. Notice the difference? It's day and night!

Under the Convention Center the lighting is uneven, inadequate and confusing. Some of the lights are on and some are off, but never all of them. The situation leads to a lot of accidents. Ever notice how routinely the traffic reporters are announcing "another accident under the Convention Center"?

I have no idea who the moron is who decided to save money by leaving the lights off ("but Doctor, think of the money the hospital will save if you agree to operate without lights!"). If they won't bring the lighting up to safe standards, then they ought to close I-5 as a health hazard until they do.

Or don't the lives and property of your citizens mean anything to you?

* * *

Tear out all ivy in public spaces and places. And stop planting the stuff. It damages and kills other plants and trees. Its roots eat the mortar from between bricks. Gods, rats nest in it! Get rid of it.

* * *

I didn't hear it, but people tell me that the Mayor said on KUOW a while back that he knows me and even likes me. People ask if that is true. He and I are great friends. In fact, whenever he's in Seattle, he stays at my place.

Reader Comments

Discuss this article in the forums!

No comments yet!