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Roger's Home Journal
Roger's Home JournalToys Make the World go Wobbly!
By Roger Faris
Nov 08, 2001 -- This is the season when many of you will develop an urge to make something special for a little niece, nephew, or other loved one. You'll want to do the old-fashioned "right thing," and use artistry, skill, and energy to create a unique object of some sort. You imagine that a handmade toy will delight the child.There's a very good chance that you and the child will both end up disappointed, and more serious consequences are also possible. In spite of that considerable risk, I think you should act on your good intentions. Go forth, gather those tools and materials, and let the folly begin. Time is shorter than you think!
The fact that hand crafted toys take a long time to make cannot be over-emphasized. You should have started months ago. This is one of the many situations where unemployed people have a terrific advantage. Money isn't much of a factor, since the purchase of expensive and elaborate machinery can be counterproductive or outright dangerous. A band saw or any other tool with ominously whirring blades should be admired from across the room. In other words, let someone with experience help with the tricky parts, or find another way.
My first experiment in toy making began with a vision and an abandoned block of wood. I could see that a perfect replica of Buckminster Fuller's aerodynamic three-wheeled automobile (the "Dymaxion") was trapped somewhere within that large piece of Douglas fir. With a bit of sawing, rasping, and sanding I could re-create the wonderful teardrop shape. I'd then simply (somehow) add axles, mount wheels, and apply a careful paint job. The result would surely be irresistible to my little nephew in Baltimore.
Although this took place over a quarter century ago, I remember the hard work, multiple frustrations, and ultimate great satisfaction, as though it all happened earlier today. The blue and black car was gorgeous, and rolled straight and very fast on its hard rubber tires. It was almost too perfect to send off to a little boy who would surely smash it against, or possibly through, the walls of his family home. But I shipped it East, knowing that I'd created an heirloom piece that would be passed down through generations to come. Oh, the joy it would bring.
In fact, though, I never heard much about that car, and didn't see it ever again. Perhaps the parents recognized the incredible value as an art object, deserving of preservation in a safety deposit vault somewhere. It's also possible, I suppose, that it cracked in half during an encounter with a sturdy stud in the wall cavity. Or maybe little Bob was hoping for something with batteries, sound, lights, and more moving parts.
That was also the year I sent an enormous, custom crafted tinker toy set to my nephew in Tucson. I acquired blocks of ornate scrap (a car load!) from the discard bin at a local furniture factory. Carefully aligned holes were added with a borrowed drill press. Next, I cut dowels into a variety of scientifically engineered lengths, then slotted and sanded the ends. Another triumph in toy making, I thought. My hard work would send my adorable nephew along the path of unlimited creativity.
I heard that little Stephan liked his present. He immediately perceived that a long dowel could be inserted into the end of one of the turned blocks, and that two stubby little perpendicular dowels would complete the fabrication of a handsome and serviceable sword. His vision, however, put the vision of his little sister at some risk, and I heard something about the long dowels being confiscated.
It's tempting to go on with this subject, and describe my years of toy boat building successes. To be fair, though, I'd have to mention certain stability problems in rough seas, damage to bathtub surfaces in several parts of the country, and the low-key enthusiasm with which my nautical gifts were received.
I'd also love to relate my fabulous history of whirly-gig design and construction, which represents folk art at its very best. But it could be risky to say much about a certain oversized, propeller-driven pecking chicken that took flight during a severe storm. I never knew if it came back to earth, or where it might have landed. If I write about the details, someone in Oregon might recognize that chicken, and want to talk to me about unintended consequences.
Roger Faris is the director of the Phinney Neighborhood Association Well Home Program and Project Impact Earthquake Retrofit Program. He can be reached at (206) 789-4993.
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